So this is why people go to Korea
Sometimes I just want to kick my own ass for not doing an undergrad thesis this year. But then I read 80 pages of academic journals and realize that so much of it is irrelavant and circular. People spend their whole lives studying this one tiny specific thing and in the end they never prove anything, because someone else has spent their entire careers trying to prove the opposite. And maybe both studies have their limitations but hell, if you want to prove that dogs can talk, current scientific methods allow you to do that. It can get quite rediculous.
But I think I'm doing the right thing. I am so sick of being a student. I want to be a person. If I work and save some money for a year or so, nothing will stop me from going back on my original track, toward an MA or PhD in psychology. If it turns out that's what I'm supposed to do. But PR sounds enticing. So does HR. Even government...and community outreach...family/addiction counselling...or writing for a fashion magazine. hahaha I'm ALL over the map.
So now I'm faced with answering the hardest questions. I don't really know what my values are anymore. I'm not sure if it's important for me to help people or make money. If I want to influence people, work with others, have fun at work or make a difference... I'm not sure if I want a 9-5, if I'm willing to work long hours, if I'm willing to stop working at some point so I can raise some kids...I'm not even sure if I want to do that anymore.
I keep hearing about people going to Asia to teach English. Now one of my friends is seriously considering going after this year. I always wondered why or how people do that...wondering "aren't you anxious to start your life?" But what is there to be anxious about? How can you start your life if you don't really know who you are?
Maybe I need to go away after school...get away from everything and everyone that has created this "noise." Because I can't hear my own voice anymore.
But I think I'm doing the right thing. I am so sick of being a student. I want to be a person. If I work and save some money for a year or so, nothing will stop me from going back on my original track, toward an MA or PhD in psychology. If it turns out that's what I'm supposed to do. But PR sounds enticing. So does HR. Even government...and community outreach...family/addiction counselling...or writing for a fashion magazine. hahaha I'm ALL over the map.
So now I'm faced with answering the hardest questions. I don't really know what my values are anymore. I'm not sure if it's important for me to help people or make money. If I want to influence people, work with others, have fun at work or make a difference... I'm not sure if I want a 9-5, if I'm willing to work long hours, if I'm willing to stop working at some point so I can raise some kids...I'm not even sure if I want to do that anymore.
I keep hearing about people going to Asia to teach English. Now one of my friends is seriously considering going after this year. I always wondered why or how people do that...wondering "aren't you anxious to start your life?" But what is there to be anxious about? How can you start your life if you don't really know who you are?
Maybe I need to go away after school...get away from everything and everyone that has created this "noise." Because I can't hear my own voice anymore.
posted by Mish @ 7:14 AM
2 Comments:
At 11.10.06,
Anonymous said…
I think that is a wonderful idea. When you travel and you're alone (because often times you will not be) the inner voice really comes out. Sometimes, however, it makes you more confused when you get back...but that usually just helps you realize you were on the wrong track..or on the right one.. or which parts of which track you were getting right and which you were getting wrong. The confusion doesn't end but the motivation for the next steps definately become clearer. So i think that is a marvelous idea. Just dont go to North korea..p.s. did you go home for thanksgiving this week
At 12.10.06,
Anonymous said…
Pincho!
Did you say you thought PR looked appealing? I'm sure it's different depending one what PR you're doing, but the stuff i'm doing for this massive bureaucracy is not exactly stimulating work - there's not much room for creativity here.
But thre travelling idea is hype - I know a ton of people here teaching (you can almost ask people where they teach rather than what they do). Ayrie is right too, traveling alone opens your eyes to some shit and gives some perspective! DO IT! DO IT!
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