Pinchy's Crapple Chicken Salad

Pat and I thought it would be cute to surprise his family by throwing a thanksgiving dinner together at their house for when they got back from the cottage. It was quite fun...we definitely cut corners...buying "add water" stuffing and ready-to-go movenpick rotisserie chicken. I wanted to make my delicious russian potato salad, complete with kosher pickles and all but we had enough food anyway. I made yams, asparagus and other veggies...a tomato-cucumber and shrimp appetizer and delishus deviled eggs.

We spent about 2 hours or so preparing dinner and, other than Pat's delicious whipped cream and chocolate waiffer cake - really, who can compete with dessert? - the best part was my "Crapple (Cranberry-Apple) Chicken Salad," a recipe I pretty much randomly made up on the spot. Most food I make tastes like bum, but this turned out so good I'm going to share my "secret" with y'all so you can impress your future mothers-in-laws.

EASY Crapple Chicken Salad consists of:

Chicken Boobies
Mixed greens
Macintosh Apples
Dried Cranberry Raisins (or "crazins?")
Can of cranberry sauce
White Chedda
Honey-Dijon salad dressing


Flatten the chicken boobies and slice them up a bit...dump them on a skillet with about half a can of cranberry sauce, cover with lid and "simmer" on low to medium for however long it takes for it to not be raw. I would say like 20-30 minutes.

Wash some baby romain, ecoli-free spinach, etc. and chop up several apples into little cubes. Add a bit of the cheese (grated) and handfuls of the crazins. Put in as many apples and whatever else you like.

When the chicken tits are done, they should be a nice purpley pink from the cran sauce and the sauce should be all caramelized. Put it all in the salad, chicken tits, sauce, everything.

Add a bit of the honey-dijon salad dressing and you're done.

Optional - if you're not allergic to nuts (like me), walnuts or something would probably be a good addition to this Waldorf rip-off salad.

Enjoy! (BAM!)