There it is, laid out in front of me -
a long, thick and very obvious line.
And I know that if I cross it, there's no turning back...I know.
I know that beyond this line is just another. And another.
Be strong, I tell myself. This line is a boundary.
But I have never known any boundaries before.
I dip my finger in and taste it.
I think to myself: I have too many feelings. I don't need them all.
There is no barbed wire here.
There are no men with guns. No electric gates.
Just one small line -
A line that is impermeable to fear and pain,
A line that separates feeling from not giving a shit.
I could leap over it and land on my feet.
But what if I can't get back in?
My lips and tongue are already numb.
I want to throw my whole body in.
But I hold my breath
and remember the last time I was this stupid,
I recall that pain, like me, knows no boundaries.
I hold my breath...and I blow the line away.
I will find other fences to climb.